Laura Miolla’s Guest Blog: What Is Divorce Coaching?

Guest Post Introduction:

MoxieLife-larger_RGBLaura Miolla is a Divorce Coach trained and in certification through the Coaches Training Institute. She expects to receive her CPCC and ACC certification through Coaches Training Institute and International Coaching Federation in February 2013. Please visit to learn more and schedule a free sample session.

What Is Divorce Coaching?

If Life Coaching is a fairly new industry, having been founded in the 1980’s and only popularized for the last 15 years, then divorce coaching is still in its infancy. Life Coaching is a practice that helps people identify and achieve personal goals.

Life Coaching is often confused with (or at least not well-differentiated from) therapy. The difference is that, we as Life Coaches, believe our clients are Naturally Creative, Resourceful and Whole. There is nothing to be fixed. Our clients are not broken – rather, they just need to achieve some clarity to see the world of possibility in front of them. Additionally, coaching focuses on the present and the future versus the past. The past is just a story – one that we can re-write to empower us and move us forward rather than hold us back from our dreams and fullest potential.

In the last few years, coaching has become mainstream — the word “Life Coach” was even listed for the first time in the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary in August, 2012.  You can find coaches specializing in business, leadership, health, relationships, careers, etc.  – all areas where people are experiencing, or want to experience, transition.  It is important to remember that there are many different types of coaches out there – and the term is used very loosely. Beware though — anyone can say they are a coach – any kind of coach – without any required system of qualification. Currently, there is only one recognized certification for Life Coaching via the International Coaching Federation. While I haven’t confirmed this statistic, I’ve been told that 85% of coaches currently practicing are NOT certified.

You can find myriad types of coaches focused on divorce as well. There are financial coaches, collaborative law coaches and pure divorce coaches. Financial coaches will assist you with pulling together all of the financial documentation you will need as part of your divorce and advise you on your financial options. Within the practice of collaborative law, a coach will work with you and your attorney to arrive at a divorce agreement and avoid a trial. Collaborative law coaches are often psychotherapists and social workers trained in conflict resolution. Pure divorce coaches are focused on helping individuals deal with the emotional turmoil that accompanies the long, divorce process. We help you create goals for yourself and your family during and after the divorce, so that you can minimize stress and anxiety and make better, overall decisions for you and your children.

As a pure divorce coach, I believe there is a better way to experience the divorce process. Most people get stuck in a downward spiral of emotions, such as grief, anxiety, guilt, anger, failure and uncertainty, and are at the mercy of self-limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. These emotions are natural, but ultimately they won’t serve you in this process and can actually be detrimental to your divorce and your life moving forward. Most people are unable to get unstuck by themselves.

As a divorce coach, I act as your sounding board and champion. I provide a safe, non-judgmental, confidential haven for you to vent, discuss options, identify your goals and get to what really matters for you now and in the future.  Coaching will give you the clarity you need to manage this process with intention — and not lose sight of your big picture goals by reacting from a place of resentment, rage, depression or worry. Coaching will give you the courage to move forward and reinvent yourself in the way that you want. A divorce coach can also help you save money since you won’t be relying on your attorney (and their higher billable rate) to help you cope with the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies this long, stressful process.

It is important to realize that you are not alone when it comes to divorce. You have a number of resources to help you through this process and remain true to what you want for yourself now and in the future. You only have one life. You deserve peace, fulfillment and joy. Don’t settle for less.

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